odd lyrics that have vexed me for ages

when i was young, as children are, i heard lyrics that rarely made sense.

for instance, you know the movie "the lion king"? the song "hakkunah matata" has a lyric that says, "it's our problem-free philosophy," but when i was convinced they were singing, "it's a trouble-free colostomy". i never knew what all the adults were giggling at when i sung this song.

also, "pochahontis"(which is a terrible historical recollection -- leave it to disney... but that's another rant altogether... stay tuned!), where she sings, "paint with all the colors of the wind," i used to sing "paint with all the colors of the wig." i thought they were singing about clowns.

then, a tad older, my mother showed me "the sound of music" for the first time. the dad person sings a song called "eidelwise," which is a flower. but i didn't know that as a child. he was singing, "small and white," and "every morning you greet me." i thought an "eidelwise" was a brand of asprin. think about it.

also, from the same movie, the scene where the teenage girl was singing in the gazeebo with her boyfriend made me laugh like a madman. the lyric she sings to him, in all honesty, was, "i need someone older and wiser telling me what to do." that just struck me as the stoopidest sentance ever uttered by someone on television (telling you exactly how stoopid i thought it sounded). even at eight or ten years old, i was self-dependant enough to think needing, actually wanting someone to tell her what to do was crazy! i mean, i know now that it was a different time, where nazis ruled the eastern free world, and women were given little thought until it was necissary, and media and propriety had actually dictated that they did, indeed, need someone telling them what to do, as if their minds were too insufficient to think on thier own. but, at the time, i thought she must've been the biggest ditz airhead of all time, to think it was a romantic concept that someone, let alone an adolescent boy , order her around! what a moron!

but then, the guy sang back to her, "you need someone older and wiser telling you what to do." then i got mad. the jerk-wad! he's actually feeding her deluded, masogonistic fantasy of subordination and stoopidity! the hole-of-arse he was! it was then that i realized just how independant i saw myself, and that i, maybe, was a beginner feminist, which i am mostly proud of (despite the "woman jokes" that float around)