on valentine's day

there are hollidays i like (christmas is cool, easter is fun, and on halloween, i actually fit in a little), even hollidays that don't exist, per se, but are still celebrated by a select few (international talk like a pirate day, sep 19), then there is the rare, but there, holliday that i simply cannot stand.

normal people call it valentines day.

it's not the day i detest, it's the implications.  it's been so distorted over the years that it no longer has anything to do with love or relationships, but deep, hardcore consumerism.  mind you, yes, america is a capitolist society and i can support almost any type of consumerism (mmm... mcdonnalds....) but not at the expense of something real.  there is no love, anymore.

for this particular event children are taught young that love = money.  when i was growing up, my school had this thing where you or your parents or any nice townsperson could order different things to be sent to the students during school, like carnations with little personalized cards, orange crush sodas for your crush, and hire the high school show choior to some over and sing "baby face" or something to you in the middle of class.  i rarely got any of these things, which was miserable (already shoving the media's idea in our faces that if no one buys you anything, you must not be loved), and even worse when i did get one, because i always found out later they came from my parents. almost pitiful, really, in the sight of my fellow classmates.  so much so that, in seventh grade, a bunch of kids got together and sent me six crush sodas, and four flowers as a joke.  (one that, unfortunately for them, backfired when i didn't seem the least bit put off -- my argument was yeah, so? which of us got free sodas and flowers?  oh, me! )

but in recent years (or maybe it just seems recent because now i'm starting to notice) it's escaladed to the point where a girl cannot be accepted by her peers unless someone spends money on them for these silly things.

i've been told that the only reason i have such a cynnical view on valentines day is because i'm not in a relationship myself.  well, yes, i am single, but (given the local choices) i'm not in a huge hurry to change that status. because of this, i assume i'll be celebrating the holliday the way all others of the single, yet pathetic persuasion will: stay home, adorn my most festive flannels, have a Bridget Jones double feature, and, in ovation to the movie choice, will enjoy a relationship with two men simultaneously: the first called Ben, the other, Jerry.

though, i suppose, were i in a completely different situation, if i had the doting boyfriend, i perhapse wouldn't mind him giving in to the horrid consumerism, and ordering me flowers, chocolates, and/or a stuffed red gorilla in a lab coat called "Dr. Love-Monkey".  if i were in the proper position to take advantage of the situation, i would probably recant this whole rant...  'till then, i remain cynnical.... waiting for someone to change my mind....

lady frank's first day (random short story)

dear diary,

i knew the moment i opened my eyes that it was bound to be a bad day. i mean, my hair was a mess, i was completely stiff from that slab of a bed i'd been sleeping on, and there was this crazy-looking scientist (i assumed, anyway, by his stained white lab coat) just standing there, screaming, "alive! alive! she's aliiiiiivveee!" uh, yeah. duh. so what did i do? i hissed at him, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

when i woke up a few hours later, i wasn't in my bed anymore -- that was actually a few feet behind me -- nor was i in the same clothes... which gave me pause... instead i was in this drafty nightgown, that did absolutely nothing for my figure. practically a bedsheet. that wacko scientist was there again with another ugly man, who was saying something about "the bride" --?

i started to get excited. oh! bride! that means there's going to be a wedding, right? i love weddings... i think... 'course, when i thought about it, trying to remember if i'd ever been to one, i realized, i couldn't remember anything at all beyond this morning! the discovery was dizzying, and i lost my balance. luckily (-ish), the crazy lab professor was there to catch me.

but, just as i regained my feet, in barged the most beautiful man i could ever *remember* seeing in my life! oh, i was breathless. he towered there in his tight clothes, toussled hair, simply grinning from inscision to inscision, and he was looking at me...

wait. he's looking at me?! oh, no! what do i do? i'm definately not dressed for flirting! do i even know how to flirt? and what about that wedding idea? and that bride they were talking about? 'cause as far as i could tell, i was the only one there of the female persuasion... oh, no... I'm getting married?! and i take it mr. tall, green, and handsome is the groom?... okay, yeah, i had to admit, he was quite a catch; as daringly handsome as they come. but i don't remember setting as wedding day! when did he propose? did we even date?! how could we have dated if i don't even know how to flirt?!?!

questions, questions, questions, questions... mr. gorgeous started tword me with open hands, muttering in his soothing voice, "...wife..." he really was a wonderful choice to marry, like we were practically made for each other! but i wasn't ready for a commitment until i could first remember my own name!

this in mind, i started to back away, but mr. gorgeous rushed forward, and before i could stop him, we landed on my bed. (yes! my bed! i think i might've had daydreams about just this situation when i could remember stuff!) we sat there, he held my hand, and sighed happily.

oh, my, gosh, he was holding my hand! okay, i thought, it's time to attempt some flirting. but what should i say? something cunning, witty, and charming, of course. but not so much that it seems like i'm showing off; that would probably scare him away. oh, i know! maybe something like, "skulk here often?" ooh! ooh! or, "what's a creature like you doing in a place like this?" you know, something clever and original.

but, when i opened my mouth to speek, the only thing that would come out of my mouth was, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" i was so embarrassed! Great, i thought, Just what I need! To totally Freak Out on my Wedding Day! i was about to run off to the privvy, assuming i could even find it, to cry my eyes out (and they already felt a little bit loose, thank you very much!) when i saw the dejected look on his poor face. he's so adorable when he's sad. aaww, he must've thought my scream was because of him! well, it was, but not for the reasons he thought! ugh, i'm such a screwup.

i figured out he took rejection about as well as i did, because, with a lonely tear in his deep, yellow eyes, he sulked accross the room to where dr. nutzo and his ugly little friend were guarding some giant lever, then, with one mighty swipe, he knocked them both aside, grabbed the lever, pulled it and blew the place to bits, sparks of hidden explosive glinting off his handomely chissled features. i decided then and there that i was totally, completely, and madly in love with him! and i didn't even know his name...

i don't know how long i lay in the rubble before i saw my beautiful lover emerge from the nearby wreakage, sillhouetted against the rising sun, and disappear into the morning mist. fueled only by my love, i managed to arise as well.

he's taken up residence somewhere in the nearby forest, where i can easily watch him. i'm just not so certain about approaching him yet. after all, i did a full job of making a dead-brain of myself yesterday. well, for now, i guess i'll just watch from afar, and record my thoughts and feelings.

and, from this day forward, i do so solemnly swear to never leave the stitched-up side of my one true love. wheather he knows it or not.

end day one.

reguarding my last post.....

reguarding my last post -- that is not to say that i'm not obsessed with any novel i'm reading at the time. also, not to say that i don't love a good vampy-goth-kissy-love story like the twilight or the vampire kisses series'. (though, i am more partial to werewolves.) but i don't overlook a good referance and bio. in fact, i realized when i was eight, the smell of old referance books made me very happy. i'd sit around and sniff them for ages when no one was looking.... not that that's particularly relavent...

so. i've got a free twenty min. on my hands.

i feel sorry for periodicals and referance books. no one likes them. the only time they get touched is when someone wants something from them, to use them like a tool. and once they get what they wanted from them, they'll toss them aside and go back to their happy, sparkly little novels and magazines, leaving the poor periodicals and referance books to collect dust for another six years 'till someone studying the same subject comes along and uses them again. Really, it's gotta be horrible enough for them to be shelved just accross the room from books that people actually love, having to watch the paper/reader romance on a daily basis! why can't someone just curl up with a good biography or dictionary in their spare time, instead of the latest teen vampire drama or bubblegum romance? at least you'd actually learn something from the seasoned biographies, sage thasaurus... give fact a chance!

hello. intro and stuff.

so. hi. name's franki. franki kaye. this is the random turtle. a place where i can just babble and vent, talk off the top of my head and the seat of my pants and what have you. why "random turtle?" because i like turtles, and i don't like to write about just any one thing. That would be boring. i perfer to write about anything and everything (but hardly anything that really matters in the long run. more fun that way.) so... have at it. give me a topic, any topic, and i promise i'll write something about it. it'll be fun! mostly for me, but maybe for you, too. (really, some of the stuff most people i know watch regularly on youtube doesn't really hold a random candle.) give me a topic. shoot.