dear diary,
i knew the moment i opened my eyes that it was bound to be a bad day. i mean, my hair was a mess, i was completely stiff from that slab of a bed i'd been sleeping on, and there was this crazy-looking scientist (i assumed, anyway, by his stained white lab coat) just standing there, screaming, "alive! alive! she's aliiiiiivveee!" uh, yeah. duh. so what did i do? i hissed at him, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
when i woke up a few hours later, i wasn't in my bed anymore -- that was actually a few feet behind me -- nor was i in the same clothes... which gave me pause... instead i was in this drafty nightgown, that did absolutely nothing for my figure. practically a bedsheet. that wacko scientist was there again with another ugly man, who was saying something about "the bride" --?
i started to get excited. oh! bride! that means there's going to be a wedding, right? i love weddings... i think... 'course, when i thought about it, trying to remember if i'd ever been to one, i realized, i couldn't remember anything at all beyond this morning! the discovery was dizzying, and i lost my balance. luckily (-ish), the crazy lab professor was there to catch me.
but, just as i regained my feet, in barged the most beautiful man i could ever *remember* seeing in my life! oh, i was breathless. he towered there in his tight clothes, toussled hair, simply grinning from inscision to inscision, and he was looking at me...
wait. he's looking at me?! oh, no! what do i do? i'm definately not dressed for flirting! do i even know how to flirt? and what about that wedding idea? and that bride they were talking about? 'cause as far as i could tell, i was the only one there of the female persuasion... oh, no... I'm getting married?! and i take it mr. tall, green, and handsome is the groom?... okay, yeah, i had to admit, he was quite a catch; as daringly handsome as they come. but i don't remember setting as wedding day! when did he propose? did we even date?! how could we have dated if i don't even know how to flirt?!?!
questions, questions, questions, questions... mr. gorgeous started tword me with open hands, muttering in his soothing voice, "...wife..." he really was a wonderful choice to marry, like we were practically made for each other! but i wasn't ready for a commitment until i could first remember my own name!
this in mind, i started to back away, but mr. gorgeous rushed forward, and before i could stop him, we landed on my bed. (yes! my bed! i think i might've had daydreams about just this situation when i could remember stuff!) we sat there, he held my hand, and sighed happily.
oh, my, gosh, he was holding my hand! okay, i thought, it's time to attempt some flirting. but what should i say? something cunning, witty, and charming, of course. but not so much that it seems like i'm showing off; that would probably scare him away. oh, i know! maybe something like, "skulk here often?" ooh! ooh! or, "what's a creature like you doing in a place like this?" you know, something clever and original.
but, when i opened my mouth to speek, the only thing that would come out of my mouth was, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" i was so embarrassed! Great, i thought, Just what I need! To totally Freak Out on my Wedding Day! i was about to run off to the privvy, assuming i could even find it, to cry my eyes out (and they already felt a little bit loose, thank you very much!) when i saw the dejected look on his poor face. he's so adorable when he's sad. aaww, he must've thought my scream was because of him! well, it was, but not for the reasons he thought! ugh, i'm such a screwup.
i figured out he took rejection about as well as i did, because, with a lonely tear in his deep, yellow eyes, he sulked accross the room to where dr. nutzo and his ugly little friend were guarding some giant lever, then, with one mighty swipe, he knocked them both aside, grabbed the lever, pulled it and blew the place to bits, sparks of hidden explosive glinting off his handomely chissled features. i decided then and there that i was totally, completely, and madly in love with him! and i didn't even know his name...
i don't know how long i lay in the rubble before i saw my beautiful lover emerge from the nearby wreakage, sillhouetted against the rising sun, and disappear into the morning mist. fueled only by my love, i managed to arise as well.
he's taken up residence somewhere in the nearby forest, where i can easily watch him. i'm just not so certain about approaching him yet. after all, i did a full job of making a dead-brain of myself yesterday. well, for now, i guess i'll just watch from afar, and record my thoughts and feelings.
and, from this day forward, i do so solemnly swear to never leave the stitched-up side of my one true love. wheather he knows it or not.
end day one.
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