P-A feb 2: my favorite post-apocalyptic films

appologies, loyal reader(s), for my silence throughout the majority of this dreaded month. quite busy in the ways of college (i wish the world would just end already, so i wouldn't have to do any more school work!)

today, i am going to post and esplain my favorite post-apocalyptic genre films. read them. love them. watch them. then bow down before me as your queen of the wasteland!!! mwahahahahahaha!!!!!!...... er, i mean, tell me what ya think.

"WALL-E"

despite this being both a Disney and Pixar film (i.e. produced by a double-band of swindlers and theives), as well as C.G. (overrated and too expensive), it's actually pretty good. the first half of it, in the wasteland, is pretty much a silent film (a lost art these days), and there's some great, haunting imagery in what was once new york city. the second half is more sci-fi (nothing against it; love it, in fact, though it's mixing genres and makes it hard to talk about in a post-apocalyptic sens). it's all about this garbage-compactor robot, (WALL-E) the only one left un-scrapped, who continues compacting and stacking cubes of garbage for nigh on 700 years, just because he doesn't know he can stop -- that is, till he meets EVE, the beautiful, high-tech, carreer driven egg-shaped bot who barely aknowledges his existance. the whole story revolves around his attempts to win her affection, while she attempts to protect the last plant in existance.

meh, on the love story, awesome on the settings, rock-on, on the 2000: Space Odessey referances. love that movie.

"Tank Girl"

a triumph of '90's grunge (guiltily admit i love it). a comet has hit the earth, and water has become a commodity. after escaping the evil water-tycoon's cyborg grasp, Tank Girl and Jet Girl (no kidding) wander out into the dessert in search of a little girl who has been sold to the whorehous (no kidding). they are later taken custudy of, and later, partner with the Rippers, a band of ass-kicking kangaroo-human ninjas (no kidding), and they all band together to infiltrate Water and Power, take down the tycoon, and rescue the little girl. oh, and Tank and Jet get kangaroo boyfriends (...no kidding).

great australian comic book premise, awesome post-apocalyptic multi-media fashion, and great punky music that you'd probably hate. all in all, Tank Girl friggin' rocks!!!

"Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome"

first off, the other Mad Max movies suck. just sayin'.

Mad Max, after wandering through the waste, finds himself at a small, cobbled-together society called Barter Town, which has electricity and running machines, and appears to be run by Tina Turner, but, underground in a major pig sty, shovelling piggy-poop into furnaces so that the town can run on methane, is the real head of Barter Town: MasterBlaster (Master is the super-smart dwarf riding on the shoulders of super-strong, yet retarded, Blaster -- brains and brawn). after going up against Blaster in the Thunderdome (a cage in which death battles are held, so as to avoid war), but refusing to kill him, Max is sentanced to wander the waste for going back on his deal with Tina Turner. he ends up in this villiage of children who have raised themselves, and created a religious mythology around the bits of pre-apocalyptic stuff left behind by the adults (it's actually kinda hillarious, while a little bit sad... like pathetic, not like boo-hoo). Max uses these kids to rescue the imprisioned Master and deliver them all to Tomorrow-morrow-land, or Sidney, Australia after the apocalypse (why do so many of these stories take place in Australia?), before continuing his wandering.

"The Postman"

a guy takes refuge from people hunting him down in a mail truck, and takes the skelleton's jacket and sachel when he leaves. he uses letters in his sack to bluff his way into the next town he finds, telling them that a government has been re-established, and spilling all this b.s. about what a wonderful place it is going to be when things get started... he mostly just wants a hot meal and a horse so he can get outa there and back to his lonesome state. but when he impregnates a girl who gets kidnapped by the men tracking him down, he has no choice but to take Ford (the only black kid in the whole movie) and his new "government official" status and rescue her, then continue building the lines of communication accross the broken world by creating an actual postal service. eventually, life restores. happy ending.

"9"

i love this one. it's a little out there, so bear with me as i explain: a man creates nine burlap rag dolls, and gives each of them a piece of his soul so that they can keep the world going after the machine he has created kills every living thing in the world and ate their souls. with me so far? good. the last one, 9 (each doll's name is the number they were created), finds his way to the ragdoll community, where he meets 1, the narrow-minded leader, 2, an older guy with a nack for scavanging and inventing, 3 and 4, twins (made from gloves) who catalogue and research everything the humans have left behind, 5, a one-eyed cartographer, 6, a half-crazed artist with visions of the future (character design based on Tim Burton, co-producer of the film), 7, the female adventurer who kicks butt faster than any of the others, and 8, a muscle-bound idiot addicted to magnet. 9 inadvertantly wakes up the killing machine his father first created, who then procedes to hunt each and every one of the ragdolls down, killing them and eating their souls, sending odd creations to take them down, then finally chasing them itself. in the end, the machine finally dies, and all that are left in the gang are 2, 3, 7, and 9. all's well that ends well. great steam-punk images, and love the misplaced time period.

ok, i hope you enjoyed these post-apocalyptic films, and hope you watch a couple -- they're pretty good. EMBRACE THE WASTELAND!